Sorry, Firstborns! Middle Children Are The Ultimate Rockstars Of The Family – Science Confirms It!
For years, middle children have been labeled as ‘forgotten’ or neglected, but new research proves they have the strongest personality traits, making them the real champions among siblings.

Psychologists and researchers have been fascinated by the concept of birth order and how it affects personality. Even parents trying to navigate sibling dynamics have become interested in it. Amongst the three siblings, the middle child is usually considered the ‘forgotten’ sibling, overshadowed by the burdens of the elder sibling and the privileges of the youngest. However, new research reveals a redemption for middle children that highlights their strengths and advantages over their siblings.
For years, people have been dishing out the notorious ‘middle child syndrome’, which states that in between, children receive less attention from parents and, therefore, are neglected and cannot define identity at all. New research, however, reveals that these struggles can develop some qualities that make middle children the best among their siblings.
Understanding Birth Order and Personality Traits
Birth order theory, popularized by psychologist Alfred Adler, suggests that a child’s position in the family affects their development and personality traits. Here’s a general breakdown of birth order characteristics:
- Oldest Sibling: Often perceived as responsible, authoritative, and achievement oriented. Setting an example for the younger siblings often develops leadership and reliability but can also be a burden. It gives pressure and sometimes perfectionism.
- Youngest Sibling: Typically described as carefree, charming, and sometimes spoiled. They benefit from parental experience and often receive more leniency, leading to a more relaxed approach to life.
- Middle Siblings are frequently stuck in the middle and are often believed to not have a very defined role. However, that positioning forces them to develop flexibility, diplomacy, and resilience.

The Middle Child Advantage: Insights from the Study
A groundbreaking study utilizing the HEXACO Personality Inventory sheds light on the distinctive traits of middle children. This inventory measures six fundamental personality traits:
- Honesty-Humility
- Emotionality
- Extraversion
- Agreeableness
- Conscientiousness
- Openness to Experience
The study reported that middleborns consistently emerged as their siblings’ champions of honesty, humility, and agreeableness. These two constructs are significantly valued in positive social interactions and relationships, and children who exhibit both have been characterized as kind, cooperative, and trustworthy.
Key Traits That Make Middle Children Exceptional
- Compassion and Empathy: The middle child grows up between the older and younger siblings. This naturally develops strong empathy as they learn to understand both sides of a conflict and to mediate the situation. This compassionate nature helps them be excellent listeners and good friends.
- Strong Conflict Resolution Skills: As the middle child of two other siblings, a middle child is often asked to mediate disputes between them. This way, they learn problem-solving and diplomatic skills, preparing them to manage conflicts better later in life.
- High Levels of Forgiveness: This study showed that middle children tend to forgive others more. They often get ignored or have to sacrifice, and in the process, they learn to think about peace rather than being resentful. Thus, middle children tend to be emotionally more mature than their siblings.
- Adaptability and Independence: Unlike the eldest, who receives structured guidance and is disciplined, and the youngest, who mostly enjoys indulgence, the middle children have to find their way. This gives them a sense of independence and adaptability, suitable for personal and professional accommodations.
- Low Narcissism and Genuine Relationships: One of the study’s most striking findings is that middle children were the least narcissistic of all siblings. Unlike the oldest, who may take on a leadership role, or the youngest, who often receives excessive attention, the middle child learns to value relationships for authenticity rather than personal gain.
How Middle Children Compare to Their Siblings
The study highlighted the strengths of middle children and pointed out the weaker traits of the other two sibling positions.

- Oldest Siblings tend to be responsible and ambitious but can also be overly competitive and authoritative. Their sense of duty sometimes translates into a need for control, making them less cooperative.
- Youngest Siblings are often more relaxed and social but scored poorly in agreeableness and humility. Their position in the family usually makes them more self-centred than their older siblings.
This comparison highlights the reasons middle children differ: their ability to walk alone yet feel for others and their leaning towards fairness and cooperation.
The Cultural Portrayal of Middle Children
Understanding the challenges faced by middle children is not difficult. They are frequently portrayed as underappreciated or fighting for attention in films and television programs. For example:
- “Stuck in the Middle” (Disney Channel): This sitcom tells the story of a middle child navigating around being one out of seven siblings.
- Jan Brady from “The Brady Bunch” is a classic portrayal of a middle child struggling to cope with constantly feeling overshadowed by her older sister.
These portrayals, while often comedic, reinforce the challenges middle children face. However, the new study suggests that these struggles make them more assertive, emotionally intelligent individuals.
Why Middle Children May Thrive in Adulthood
The personality traits that define middle children make them succeed in life in so many aspects:

- In Relationships: Their high agreeableness and empathy make them supportive and understanding partners.
- In the Workplace: Their conflict resolution skills and cooperation ability help them excel in team environments.
- In Leadership Roles: Even though they don’t necessarily want to be in charge, their diplomatic natures make them good managers and mediators.
Conclusion: The Redemption of the Middle Child
Middle children have been considered the ‘forgotten ones’ within the family for decades. Recently, however, this study has proved that the conditions that make children feel neglected when placed within the family shape them into some of the most compassionate, adaptable, and emotionally intelligent individuals.
With strong interpersonal skills, a high sense of fairness, and a natural ability to understand and compromise, middle children bring unique strengths that make them stand out within their families and society. The study reaffirms that being in the middle is the best place.